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Parenting
Coordinator - Question and Answer
March
18, 2005
Question
Mr.
Direnfeld,
I read with interest your article on this subject. I am in British
Columbia, Canada. We do not have parenting coordinators in our family
court. We have family justice counsellors (fjc's) who work for the
Attorney General and who are trained in mediation. But these people are
not lawyers or social workers. We have a Court Rule which requires anyone
making a court application to first be diverted to the fjc's to see if a
resolution can be mediated.
Can you tell me who the courts in Ontario are using as parenting
coordinators - lawyers or social workers, or others?
Also, are you familiar with the AFCC conference being held in Seattle,
Washington on May 18 - 21, 2005? Parenting coordination is the subject of
an all day seminar on the 18th. If you are familiar with this conference,
do you know of the professionals who are presenting the seminar on
parenting coordination?
Below is the website:
http://www.afccnet.org/
Thanking you in advance for your assistance.
Answer
Thank
you for your email. My pleasure to reply.
"Parenting Coordinator" is a relatively new concept as a service
to help resolve recurrent parenting issues for parents in high conflict
separations or divorces. To my knowledge, there is no bonafide research
yet supporting it's efficacy. I looked at the conference outline at the
website you sent me. The workshop would probably fall under their category
of "Innovations in practice, research, case management, teaching and
program development." (page 2 of their brochure)
Clinical experience and anecdotal suggests a Parenting Coordinator is
helpful in keeping some high conflict situations from continually reaching
the courts. The Parenting Coordinator can be empowered by the parents
through mutual agreement or by the courts to make binding recommendations
on the parents if/when they cannot otherwise come to agreements
themselves. Some US jurisdictions are incorporating the service just as
others have incorporated mandatory mediation. The American Psychological
Association is just embarking on a study of the service:
http://www.apa.org/monitor/jan05/coordinator.html
Here in Ontario, the concept is likely as new as in BC. I have had only a
few cases that truly approximate the service by name. I have had many
cases where I was asked to mediate and by default have played the role.
More recently I have developed a Parenting Coordinator
Agreement.
As for who is doing this, the truth is very few here. I have been asked
what or who to look for by persons in other jurisdictions.
My
advise is to look for a social worker or psychologist with at least 10 to
15 years of experience working with high conflict families with parenting
issues subsequent to separation or divorce. Further, the clinician should
be apprised of the practice of mediation and custody/access assessment.
They should also posses knowledge or training in domestic violence, child
development, and issues regarding estrangement and alienation. In other
words, you need a very seasoned professional for this role. The worker
must also be very comfortable with high conflict situations, and intensity
of emotion. The worker should also have knowledge and safeguards for
personal protection.
If you can find such a person in your jurisdiction, s/he may well be able
to adopt the role, with an explanation.
Another concept growing concurrent to Parenting Coordinator is
"Parallel Parenting". Devised to keep parents separate yet both
involved, this offers both parents the opportunity to have authority in
the children's lives, but albeit, very circumscribed with detailed span of
authority and clear boundaries. I have recently been critiquing a few
assessments where the assessor recommended Parallel Parenting, but did not
offer the specificity or details required to make it truly workable.
Personally, I like the Parenting Plan
worksheet. It avoids the use of
jargon or labels and just speaks to each parent's role, span of authority,
responsibilities and time with the children. My personal experience
suggests this approach, where good fences make good neighbours, can go a
long way to reducing ongoing conflict. High conflict parents often look
for ways to nip at the edges of their parenting agreements. They tend to
follow the letter of the agreement and not the spirit. As such, the
Parenting Plan Worksheet is highly detailed...
Best,
Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Gary
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
www.yoursocialworker.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him
an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family
therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for
the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.
Search Gary’s name on GOOGLE.COM to view his many articles or visit his
website. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on
family matters. His services include counseling, mediation, assessment and
assessment critiques.
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