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  1. Always have children's attention when talking and give them all the information necessary to do what is expected, appropriate to their level of understanding. 

  2. Provide the right information so children know what you want.  Provide feedback to let children know they are on the right track to help the desired behaviour get repeated. 

  3. Praise is necessary but not sufficient.  To facilitate healthy self-esteem provide generous amounts of valuing, opportunities to develop competency, opportunities for doing good deeds, and structure. 

  4. Spare the rod, but not the consequence.  It is OK for children to pay for behaviour that is unacceptable, potentially dangerous or harmful. 

  5. Negotiating offers a process where both sides can come away winners.  Sometimes parents have to remember to let go a little. 

  6. Be aware of how you are interacting with others in the home.  Children are more aware than we sometimes realize.  Children will always learn more from what we do than what we say.  Parents are not really gods.  Sometimes parents need help too. 

  7. Factors beyond the immediate scope of the family also impact heavily on children's development.  To help our children, we must also work to create a better world.

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW



(905) 628-4847


Gary Direnfeld is a child-behaviour expert, a social worker, and the author of Raising Kids Without Raising Cane. Gary not only helps people get along or feel better about themselves, but also enjoys an extensive career in public speaking. He provides insight on issues ranging from child behaviour management and development; to family life; to socially responsible business development. Courts in Ontario, Canada consider Gary an expert on matters pertaining to child development, custody and access, family/marital therapy and social work.


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For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.


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20 Suter Crescent, Dundas, ON, Canada L9H 6R5  Tel: (905) 628-4847  Email: gary@yoursocialworker.com