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Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.
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RECIPE FOR A HEALTHY CHILD
At least one loving adult whose needs are differentiated from the
child's and who puts the child's needs first.
2. Information given liberally so that the child always knows what's going on and what's expected.
3. Feedback given liberally, like a signpost, to keep the child on the right track.
Consequences to help the child learn right from wrong, good from
bad, the meaning of "no", and respect for one another.
Negotiation as a way out of conflicts when it is reasonable for
both adult and child to be winners.
A clean and safe environment extending from one's home to the
community and to the world.
Food, water, shelter, clothing, education and freedom from harm.
A chance to be special, a zillion times a year.
Take all the basic ingredients and blend them in equal and generous
amounts (like chocolate chip cookies - more is better).
Bake in a home warmed by caring and sharing. During the baking process, demonstrate all aspects of
appropriate values. Treat
each other well. Play with
one another. Let your child
participate in doing good deeds with you.
Be prepared to stand back as the child rises.
(You don't want to stifle rising children or they can fall flat. Also you don't want to open the door too quickly, before they
are set to stand on their own. It's
important to get it just right.)
you follow this recipe as closely as you can, you will find that there is
room for mistakes because when you use good ingredients the mix develops
some forgiveness. (This is a
secret ingredient that develops out of the combination effect of the other
When is it cooked?
really neat thing about this recipe is that a child is always cooked, even
when they continue to rise. You
can enjoy your child anytime you take the time.
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.
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