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children leave the nest and gaining a better adult relationship
all the attention on where your kids are going, little may have been
said about where they are leaving. Each year thousands of children leave
home and some for the very first time.
would do well to remember their first experience of leaving home. For
many it came easily, but for some it was accompanied by stress and for
others conflict. In remembering their own experience, parents next have
to consider the experience they want to provide their son or daughter.
experience of leaving home is important psychologically for children,
now young adults, and parents alike. The experience can set the tone for
the next stage of family development; adult-to-adult relationship with
your child. Remember, they will likely be married some day and you will
want to see your grandchildren.
no more telling a child what to do. After managing through adolescence,
parents are faced with the fact that their child is a young adult. Long
gone are the days of parental authority. Coming to terms with this fact
lies at the heart of the leaving home experience and can impact on your
son or daughters sense of adult security and your future relationship
it is not so much that the parents must reassure their children that
they will be all right, but that the parents must reassure themselves
and not let their concerns impede the childrenís departure. Let them
leave in peace and do not try to cram in all the lessons left untaught.
Some lessons are only gained by leaving home.
a better leaving home experience consider these suggestions:
you follow these suggestions you may experience a smoother transition to
an adult relationship with your son or daughter. This kind of experience
can repair past conflicts with your child and improve the odds of having
a great relationship as adults.
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.
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