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behaviour: Who’s the Boss?
your preschooler tell you he hates you, or not to look at him? Does your
child hit you?
preschoolers tell parents or other family members they hate them or if
they hit their parents, it is usually to get out of doing what is asked -
to get their own way.
your child is used to being in control of you and you start to turn things
around, be prepared for protesting. Your child will not like loosing
control of you. In the short run your child will try harder to get you to
submit to their will. They may tell you louder that they don’t love you,
they may hit harder and they may scream or tantrum.
must outlast your child’s protesting. If you give in, then you just
teach them how demanding they must be in order to get their way again.
Giving in while your child is protesting can create worse behaviour. If
your child is screaming and yelling while in time out, watch from a
distance to make sure they are safe, but otherwise ignore until settled.
This can take great patience and you may need support yourself in order to
outlast your child.
Behaviour can change rapidly; usually within three to ten days when using these strategies. The first few days can be especially trying. The trick is keeping your cool when under stress, redirecting behaviour where you can, ignoring behaviour that is a nuisance but not serious, using time out for misbehaviour that is truly out of line and most importantly, reinforcing behaviour that is appropriate – catching a kid being good!
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
is a child-behaviour expert, a social worker, and the author of Raising
Kids Without Raising Cane. Gary not only helps people get along or feel
better about themselves, but also enjoys an extensive career in public
speaking. He provides insight on issues ranging from child behaviour
management and development; to family life; to socially responsible
business development. Courts in Ontario, Canada consider Gary an expert on
matters pertaining to child development, custody and access,
family/marital therapy and social work.
For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.
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20 Suter Crescent, Dundas, ON, Canada L9H 6R5 Tel: (905) 628-4847 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org