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Babies and the Hook-Up Generation
your parents choosing your date. Forget going to a dance club to meet and get to
know people. Forget hitting a bar to meet others. Enter Tinder.
is a person to person matching app that has four basis features. The first is
the ability to locate people near you (you can determine the distance) who also
have the app on their smart-phone. The second feature is your picture, so that
when your phone is alerted to other app users near you, you can view each
otherís picture. The third feature is the ability to swipe their picture on
your phone with your finger. Swiping the picture left or right, indicates
whether or not you have an interest in the person. And the last feature is the
ability to communicate with the other person and you access this ability if you
both express an interest in each other. To be clear, this is a matching app that
makes matches based on proximity, your picture and an electronic expression of
mutual interest. Nothing more.
that, the use of this app and others like it is the present day enabler of the
one night stand. However, also in this day and age, that one night stand may
only be the time it takes to remove your clothes, do the deed and leave.
women are apparently enticed to use the app and engage in the risky business
believing it may be the only way to start a relationship. Apparently many men
are using the app only with the intention for the self-gratification of the quicky.
Some men also apparently boast of their prowess of how fast they can turn a
mutual expression of interest into a notch on their belt.
clear of judgment and moral implications, let alone the associated health and
well being risks, this new approach to meeting oneís carnal needs is
inadvertently creating a new generation of hook-up or Tinder babies between
persons whose only known mutual attraction is by virtue of a swipe of the
situations are making for a new generation of parents who know absolutely
nothing about each other, fighting it out over the parentage and then the actual
parenting of their children. Persons who in their wildest dreams would never
have dated each other, had they had a decent conversation first, are now tied to
each other through their mutual and unanticipated offspring. Just imagine having
to co-parent after a fight of actual parentage and where one may have hooked-up
with the hopes of a relationship and the other solely for their personal
are creating some remarkably challenging disputes, sorting out the care of these
children between persons who would otherwise never have anything to do with each
easy answer, but one suggestion.
goodness sake, Tinder users, for any number of reasons, please use a condom.
the way, the age of the average user of this app is young. So parents of teens,
check their phones.
Iím old fashioned, but that saying still makes sense, ďAn ounce of
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Call Gary for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.
For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.
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