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The Six Strategies of Subtle Emotional and Psychological Abuse


Narcissists in Relationships


The Five Best Friends of the Abusive Man


Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships.

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Relationship Advice Ė 

Spotting the Dangerous Narcissist.

It starts by claiming to have been abused, hurt or taken advantage of by someone.

However, rarely do persons who were abused spew vitriol or seek to assassinate the character of their abuser. More typically those who were abused seek for the abuse to stop and for the abuser to take some degree of responsibility. Beyond that most persons who were abused otherwise seek to live free from harm.

However, some persons with narcissistic tendencies or personalities will seek to eviscerate those whom they feel may have thwarted their interests as if thwarting their narcissistic interest was equivalent to abuse. The target of their scorn could be a present or former partner, a service provider, their own lawyer, a counselor, a tradesperson, oneís boss or a co-worker. What makes these narcissists dangerous is that they will go out of their way to assassinate their targetís character or well-being or business, seeking maximum vengeance at feeling thwarted.

When one sees such vitriol, hatred and descriptions of supposed terrible deeds they ascribe to the target of their behavior, people are well advised to consider the source and be concerned that this personís view of the other, may just be a reflection of themselves. The process is called projection. They ascribe to others, behavior and attitudes originating with themselves.

If you are in a relationship with such a person, remember, the behavior they demonstrate to others, can just as easily be targeted to you if they feel thwarted by you too. Think twice about being sucked into a relationship with persons who you see trying to annihilate another regardless of their justification. You could be next.

Quietly walk away.


Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters. Gary is the host of the TV reality show, Newlywed, Nearly Dead and the parenting columnist for the Hamilton Spectator. His book, Marriage Rescue is due out in spring 2013. Gary maintains a private practice in Dundas Ontario, providing a range of services for people in distress. He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout North America.



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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847  


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker in private practice. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.


Call Gary for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.


Buy the book:

For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.


Are you the parent of new teen driver?  Check out this teen safe driving program: www.ipromiseprogram.com


27 Sina Street, Georgina, ON, Canada L4P 3E9 Tel: (905) 628-4847 Email: gary@yoursocialworker.com