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This Valentine, Renew-the-Woo!


If your relationship is a little cold, hostile or distant, then maybe this Valentineís Day can be the time to kick-start the relationship.


It is not uncommon that with the stress of every-day life or even the regularity of ever-day life that the emotional connection between couples fade. Relationships can go from routine to rut.


Adding some spice, surprise and spontaneity can infuse a relationship with new life and meaning. You can rekindle the connection and find greater satisfaction and intimacy.


To renew-the-woo in your relationship, you have to key into the needs and wants of your partner. Renewing-the-woo is not about you setting out to meet your needs. It is about setting out to meet the needs of your partner.


While big gestures make a splash, the effects often wear out quickly, like a flash in the pan. Rather than big gestures, small gestures that really key into your partnerís desires will be more meaningful and can actually provide longer lasting effects.


A note that expresses love, or even a poem, breakfast in bed, helping with the dishes, a single rose and even an apology can be a remarkable gift.


If there are past transgressions that have been simmering, taking full responsibility for your part whilst looking for nothing in return can be a tremendous gift. If there are issues of abuse, drug or alcohol consumption problems, acknowledging it and seeking help can be a remarkably meaningful gesture as it expresses an appreciation for the impact of these issues on the partner.


To give a gift that keeps on giving, you can make a series of cards, each as a ticket to be redeemed for certain activities or behaviours. These can include a massage, cleaning the garage, a bubble bath, a special dinner, a movie night, etc. Giving a gift of items to be redeemed at your partnerís request adds to the spontaneity and keeps you checked in with each other.


This Valentineís Day, if your relationship has lost its luster, consider renewing-the-woo. Be nice, think twice and make it a gesture that keeps on giving.



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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847  


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker in private practice. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.


Call Gary for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.


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For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.


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27 Sina Street, Georgina, ON, Canada L4P 3E9 Tel: (905) 628-4847 Email: gary@yoursocialworker.com