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A strength-guided, goal-oriented approach to the positive growth and 

development of people and services.



Marriage Rescue: Overcoming Ten Deadly Sins in Failing Relationships, is now in bookstores.


In this book I discuss those issues that bring most couples to see me for counseling. I speak in very plain language and describe what is going on and what you should do about it. This book gives the reader the benefit of my 30 years of experience working with people. 







Library Journal rates Marriage Rescue "Recommended".



Right now Amazon.com is selling Marriage Rescue for $11.15. That's 25% off the regular price!


Listen to my CBC radio interview about the book and the #1 challenge in improving relationships!


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Comments on Gary's other articles:


Vi Ballard • Great article Gary!
I always enjoy your insight and writing style.


Lisa Gabardi, Ph.D.Congratulations, Gary on your new book! I enjoyed your interview; you have a great presence with the media. I also appreciated that you were broad in discussing couples such that you referred to step-family relationships and parenting issues as well. Good luck with your book.
Lucy Padina • I love this article...I had a similar experience doing Rogerian training during my social work training... and then I was bombarded with CBT during clinical psychology training, with a background of behaviourism of course. As a social worker in the UK we aren't afforded the luxury of doing therapy with clients (its pure care management here) so its not a dilemma I encounter much any more. Interestingly, having felt when in social work that therapy was the way and that social justice and practical solutions rarely provided the solution and having only approached things therapeutically in clinical psychology I have now gone full circle...!


Susan Armitage, M.Div. • Hi Gary, this is very helpful as it comes up quite a bit. I notice you post many very helpful articles and I just want to thank you and say how much I appreciate your kindness in sharing.

Mark B. Baer • Gary, as always, your article was very insightful.

Erin Farley • Bravo again, Gary! I love this: "Assuming no actual abusive or neglectful behaviour, butt out and leave each other alone.


Mark B. Baer • Gary, you do an amazing job of explaining why children are harmed by the way in which parents deal with differences in their parenting styles, rather than by the parenting differences.


Carolann Mazza • Another helpful article, Gary, thank you! I shared on FB and other social media.


Karol Kemp • Great article and so true!


Yvette Emmanuel So well presented! The engagement stage is very challenging when parents are facing a divorce. As therapist one has to maintain a balance and objectivity.


Deliwe Menyuko Hi Gary, I love this, its brilliant.


Yvette Emmanuel Excellent advise! Stepmom has to practice tough love.


G. William McDonald Excellent! Shared this with our 1,500 members. I believe they will get a great deal from it.


Shari Turnertc AMAZING article. As a soon-to graduate MSW and a grateful member of Bill W.’s fellowship, this article truly hit home. It will help when contributing to class discussions related to addressing alcoholism and other substance abuse, as well as my future career working with clients who wish to recover. Thank You!!


ca23rt I appreciate your post. Excellent job at creating boundaries for this client so she moves forward on what she really needs. Thank you,


Laurie Fein Gary, excellent discussion topic. A lot of attention has been brought to the issue of narcissism by the media in recent years. And anyone who has been on the receiving end of narcissistic rage will never forget it. The clarity of the dynamic can be very validating because of the effects of “crazy-making” that extends from interactions and relationships with narcissists. And I like that you addressed the capacity of the unlucky recipient of the narcissist to handle their own escape. Thanks for starting this thread–and stand back and watch the active discussions. One of the issues I have encountered is where the line is. We have dealt with narcissists who are incorrigible. One the other hand, we all have a little narcissism in us. I think it’s helpful to understand narcissism and the dynamics to identify where the line is.


Alysia Thank you for commenting on consternation. My experience is that people often have several emotions that can be unsettling and conflicting as the idealization of the ‘narcissist’ starts to wane. I appreciate the ideas around how to deal with these complicated dynamics in treatment.


Jan This article is spot-on. I was married to one of these for 21 years, worked on my own codependent issues, and left. Finally realized there was no hope for change because, of course, everything was all my fault, all the time. From a distance I’m trying to enlighten my daughters how to protect themselves from his manipulations, but for me, this was the best decision I ever made and this freedom is priceless!


Rachel Great article! Narcissists are usually very insecure and in my experience have no problem exploiting others to get what they want, with a total disregard for the feelings or boundaries of others. I am always amazed at the total lack of empathy in these people.


Pauline  Awesome article!!! You really hit the spot.


Dorota Shantianna Wow! This explains everything for me. I could not understand my attachment, but the article makes perfect sense to me now


Darlene Hi Gary, I like your approach, no I love your approach


Lucy Padina I love this article...


Ruth Freeman • Gary - I get so overwhelmed with wonderful material that I sometimes fail to
remember where the real gems lie. You are simply one of the most insightful, articulate and clear writers about topics of importance in our field that I have ever seen.



Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW


20 Suter Crescent, 

Dundas, Ontario, Canada  L9H 6R5


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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
(905) 628-4847  


Gary Direnfeld is a social worker in private practice. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report.


Call Gary for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.


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For information on Direnfeld's book, Raising Kids Without Raising Cane, click here.


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27 Sina Street, Georgina, ON, Canada L4P 3E9 Tel: (905) 628-4847 Email: gary@yoursocialworker.com